SCF seeks SCM, Unrealistic Expectations a Must...

"S(ingle) C(hristian) F(emale) seeks S(ingle) C(hristian) M(ale) to submit to in everything as to the Lord, to respect, to serve, to follow and to be led by in discipleship and ministry, to trust as spiritual leader of the home, and to serve Christ with for the next several decades or until Jesus comes back. SCM must possess total confidence (but can't be cocky and must trust SCF's opinion in all things); must be devastatingly handsome but have no idea that he is; must be exquisite interpersonal communicator who enjoys nothing more than long, conversations about the relationship; must understand SCF completely; and must otherwise fit description of how SCF thought 'The One' would be since SCF started thinking about it at age 11."

So I was reading an article on boundless.org earlier and I came across the quote above in it (which was meant to be very tongue-in-cheek) and as I read it, I thought, "Well I have been told before that my standards were too high when it comes to dating, but at least I have never been this ridiculous/unrealistic in my expectations..." However, it did strike me as quite amusing, so I copied and pasted it into a facebook message to several of my close friends who I knew would get a kick out of it too. To one of them I included the quippy comment of "and we wonder why we can't find a decent Christian boy to date....LOL"  She of course, appreciated the humor and ridiculousness of it and yet as we continued talk about it/mock it, I began to wonder, "we joke about it and everything, but I wonder how much of that list are we actually going off of even subconsciously?" YUP. Go back and read through it again, perhaps a bit more slowly and be honest with yourself. Even as overtly ridiculous as it seems, are we girls not (at least) subconsciously guilty at one point in time or another of putting  unrealistic and unfair expectations on the guys around us??
      Now don't get me wrong, having a list and standards are good thing, however those things need both need to be grounded in reality*. The person listed above does not exist. Guys are human, flawed and in need of a Savior, just like we are. Sometimes we need to let our expectations go in order to be able to receive what it is the Lord is trying to teach us/give us. Girls, I think oftentimes that when we imagine our "perfect guy" and the relationship that we will have with him someday, we are actually expecting him to be exactly like our best (girl) friend, but in a male's body. Then we get into a relationship and our boyfriend starts acting like a guy instead of how we thought he would (i.e.like our other girl friends), we get upset and frustrated. The thing is that guys want to be loved and respected for who God has made them as men in the same way that we girls want to be respected for the way God has made us as females. We are both unique individuals that each reflect God's character and complement each other in uniquely different ways. Instead of focusing on trying to find Mr. Right, why don't we instead focus our attention onto Christ and the relationship that He has called us to with Him? After all, relationships take time, energy, and intentionality. If we can't manage to develop an intimate relationship with Jesus now as a single person, what makes us think that we'll make time for Him later? He needs to be at the center of our lives, regardless of who else is in it.


*For an excellent guide on what you should be looking for/praying for in your future husband, be sure to check out Praying for Your Future Husband by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer. It'll rock your world. :-)