Learning to Dance...The Past Two Years in Retrospect - Chapter 1

Wow. My heart is almost full to bursting over all that I have to share with you today, for this blog post has been a long time coming! This is the story that I would eagerly share with you in person, but for some reason when it comes to actually writing it down and publishing it here, it gets pushed to the back burner as procrastination, distractions, and excuses take first place instead. This is the story that the enemy does NOT want me to write- for this is the story of my past two years, the story of a loving God who has been relentlessly pursuing me, wooing me, teaching me of His love, and calling me out onto the dance floor of life with Him. Or as my very wise and awesome best friend once wrote to me in the midst of everything,  "But you are entering the true story of grace- where you want to ask God for "steps 1,2,3...." and He says, "Once upon a time..."

Chapter One - The Compliment

             This all began a couple years ago with a simple compliment from a friend. We were sitting on the couch at my apt with my roommate hanging out and talking when he turned to me and gave me possibly one of the greatest compliments that I have ever been given. Ironically, I can't remember exactly what it was he said, but it was something to the effect of "You are an amazing, godly woman, and don't ever feel like you need to change who you are, because you give us guys something to strive for." I sat there stunned, not even sure how to react. I even remember looking over at my roommate as if she would know how to respond for me...Anyway, I'm sure that I muttered out something and the conversation moved on...but the growing unease that it caused in me did not. In fact, it seemed to be growing steadily instead, until one morning on the way to work, I started talking to the Lord about it. I said, "Lord, I know that I am usually not super great with accepting compliments, but what is it about this one? Why after several days, do I still not know how to handle it?" It was then that the Lord revealed to me that what I THOUGHT was humility was actually a type of false humility. I wasn't thinking of myself less (humility), I was being self-deprecating and thinking less of myself  and had actually become entangled in this huge stronghold of lies about myself that I didn't even realize were there! I was absolutely blown away and befuddled by how sly and subtle the enemy had been in building that stronghold brick-by-brick and here I was completely oblivious! Well, I was NOT oblivious anymore, Thank the Lord! (literally) However, where was I supposed to go from here? How was I supposed to be able to break free from this stronghold of lies about my identity and self-worth that I found myself in? That's where Chapter 2 comes in... 😉