Lost & Found: A Search for Hope

Lately I've been feeling like I've completely lost myself and who I used to be.
And I'm not sure exactly how to go about finding myself either.
Apparently it seems to start with me being able to lay down both my pride and my innate need to control everything.
But that's definitely way easier said than done because the world that I live in says that:

Failure is not an option.

Quitting is not an option.

• So we trudge on.
• We keep pushing through.
• Counting down the hours/days/weeks, etc til the next thing we're looking forward to.
• Til the next time that we can veg out, disconnect, not have to engage with anyone or anything.
• We're not thriving.
• Some days we feel like we're barely surviving.
• But we don't know how to get out.
• "What's the point? we ask.
• "Is anything ever really ever going to change? CAN we even change?" 
• Do we even want to?
• We hate the drudgery, but we find plenty of excuses to stay in it.
• Perhaps it's familiar.
• Perhaps it feels safe.
• But it's NOT!
• Deep down inside we KNOW it's NOT.
• Once again though, that knowledge is quieted by that voice inside that once again says, "What's the point? Why bother trying?"
• And so we run back, sometimes slink back to those old familiar habits and addictions...
• They're not anymore satisfying than last time, maybe even less so...but they are THERE. Always there. Perhaps unlike the people we feel should be there. Or maybe it's the people we wish could be there. And yet.. they're NOT. 
• And it hurts too hard to ask the real questions, to deal with the real problems. We can handle a band-aid now and then, but full-on open heart surgery?? NO THANKS.
• We're fine with being fine or so we tell ourselves as we drift numbly through life, refusing to deal with the bigger issues at hand.
• We're like an ostrich with its head buried in the sand. "If I don't admit to it/see it, then it doesn't exist..."
• And YET there's something inside that calls us to something MORE.  Something Deeper. Bigger. Better. In the quiet and stillness of our hearts we yearn for it so deeply, even more so than words could bear. And so it pushes us back. Back to that moment (or moments) that broke us -- asking, questioning, trying to find healing, to find a way to move on. And sometimes we do find a way to move on, to make progress. 
• And then some days we push it back under the rug. We hide it next to our hopes and dreams we once had and are trying our best to forget about.
• But there's something inside us that won't let us let it go, that won't let us forget...As much as we want to, it won't let us. As much as we want to surrender it, to give it up for good, for lost, it won't let us. It instead refuses to surrender, to let go of us. It keeps showing up, speaking to us, speaking to our hearts, asking us to hang on just a little bit longer because while hope deferred does indeed make the heart sick, how MUCH MORE does a longing fulfilled become a tree of life?? And a tree of life is one with roots. Solid deep down roots! 
• Roots who KNOW who they BELONG to and where they're supposed to be. Roots that have learned how to ABIDE, how to rest and draw nutrients from the soil they are in. 
• So we try once more, to surrender everything once again. And hope that even though we feel like we're 50 steps behind (and we may very well be), we can still perhaps make just one step forward today. 
• And in that moment we are hoping to be reminded that EACH STEP matters and each is PROGRESS whether it feels like it or not. And sometimes that hope is just audacious enough to keep us believing, to keep us moving forward til hopefully one day we'll discover that we are indeed THRIVING instead of just surviving.
• Because that's what HOPE in Jesus does. It pushes us back to YOU, Jesus. It holds on and it won't let go.  Because You won't let go, You won't relent until You have it all, until our whole heart is Yours.  Because You know that Your mercies are NEW every morning,  Great is Your Faithfulness!
• And while we feel like we may never change, it turns out it's ONLY  YOU who stays the same and that through You, we ARE capable of change! Hallelujah and AMEN! That's the best news of all! That it is only through the One who never changes that we can become changed and transformed into Your likeness! More and more so each day. And as we do, we find our true selves once more. 
• And that person that we thought we had lost? She's been there all along. All the best pieces of us, just waiting to be rediscovered and re-put on! Redressed and Renewed in You. Praise the Lord!

The Clearance Table Bride: Revisited

             
 Hey y'all! I know that many of you read and really enjoyed my post that I did last year back in February about the Clearance Table Bride. (if you missed it, you can check it out here.) It seemed that it really connected with a lot of you and you truly identified with her, just as I did. Well as it turns out, the Lord had more for me there (and hopefully for each of you as well!) As I went throughout last year and the beginning of this year, whenever I was in the bookstore, I would usually glance over to the clearance table to see if she was still there. Sure enough, every time I looked, there she was. Then one evening, I was driving somewhere just lost in thought when the Lord broke in and said to me, "Go back and buy her." Needless to say, I was a bit thrown and replied, "I'm sorry, what?? You want me to go back to the bookstore and buy the clearance table bride?" He said, "Yes." So I thought, "Ok, that's a little odd, but I guess I can buy her. It's half off, so it's not like it's that much money." But He broke in again and said, "No. I don't think you understand. I  don't want you to buy her at the clearance table price, I want you to buy her at her original full price because that is what she is worth."

           WOW. I just sat there for a minute, somewhat stunned. What a beautiful physical reminder of me and my own journey over the past few years. (For more on that story click here.) Not only was He further reinforcing what He had already spoken over me time and again in regards to my own self-worth but He was also tying it into how I have often felt in regards to the lack of a significant romantic relationship in my own life. I have so dearly desired over the years to be chosen and known as someone's bride, but because that hasn't happened yet, I too sometimes feel like I am stuck on the clearance table of life. I felt like He was saying, "It's not just a reminder of what your worth is in Me, but also a reminder that I know the deepest desires of your heart and I want you to keep believing, hoping, and trusting in Me even when it feels like everything and everyone else has passed you by." So I went back to the store and I bought the dear little bride and brought her home with me. However, I knew once I bought her, it wasn't enough just to bring her home and leave it at that because even though she had been bought at full price, when you picked her up, her label still said "50% OFF. AS IS. NO GROOM."

         Y'all how many times is that our own story??? Jesus went to the cross and paid FULL PRICE FOR US to bring us home to Him, but so often we spend our lives walking around believing the lie/label that was placed on us stating that we too have been marked at 50% off because of something that we said or did, or didn't say or didn't do. But it's time for that to change! We as the Church and the BRIDE of Christ need to learn how to rise up, proclaim our true identity in Him and live each day as people who know that they are fully loved and fully worth the price that was paid for us! And that is why the Lord gave me these three simple words to write on the Clearance Table Bride as her new identity:

Furthermore, a couple months later right before Easter, I received this piece of pottery at Bible study:

Written in Greek, the word "Tetelestai" was a common phrase in 1st century marketplace. Shopkeepers and merchants would write it on a broken piece of pottery for you to take with you when you were leaving town to show that all your debts to them had been paid and that you were free to go. However, we are more likely to recognize it as Jesus's final words from the cross. The word simply means "It is Finished/Paid in Full." So there they sit together on my desk at work, my little bride and my broken piece of pottery- both physical reminders to me of who I am, whose I am and that I am worth absolutely everything that was paid for me!

1) How about you? Is there a symbol or a physical item that the Lord has used powerfully in your life to remind you of truths that He has spoken over you?

2) What are some simple easy things that you could do/place around your home to remind of your worth and identity in Him?

3) Finally, if you need some awesome songs to worship to and meditate on in regards to our identity and who we are in Christ- here are a couple of my current favorites!

I Am No Victim - Kristene Dimarco

Who You Say I Am - Hillsong 

Trust, Adventure, & How God Speaks to Me Through Disney Movies

            How does God speak to you? In what creative ways do you find Him pursuing you and meeting with you right where you are?  What ordinary things in your life does He use to impart truth, to challenge and to encourage you? For me, one of those ways is movies, especially Disney movies!  Our God is the Master Storyteller, the one who created us to love, enjoy, and appreciate the arts, so should it really surprise us when He shows up speaking to us in the middle of the story? Furthermore, I find many times that those are the moments that stick with me over the years, the ones where He takes a simple line/scene or a song from a movie and speaks straight to my heart and soul through it.  For me, one such movie is Aladdin.
     

Aladdin

         
           In the movie, Aladdin shows up on Jasmine's balcony with a magic carpet and asks the question, "Do you trust me?" before he takes her on a magic carpet ride all over the world. (If you somehow managed to live through the 90's without seeing this iconic scene or you just love it as much as I do, click here. 😉) The Lord used this scene back in the beginning of 2012 when I was really wrestling through some hard stuff and really questioning Him about the circumstances of my life and how it was playing out so differently from how I had thought it would. I remember so vividly how it happened! I was sitting on the floor by the couch in my parents' living just pouring my heart out to Him through my journal, when all of sudden this scene started playing in my mind! However, instead of it being Aladdin and Jasmine, it was the Lord on the magic carpet, holding out His hand to me and asking, "Do you trust me?" It was a very powerful and life-changing moment for me! I knew then that I had a choice to make:

Was I going to stay where I was, in the safety of my "palace",  feet firmly planted on the ground still demanding answers and wanting guarantees before I  agreed to join Him?

OR

Was I going to choose to reach out in faith, take His hand in trust and join Him for the ride of a lifetime?

            However, six years later, what I am learning is that this choice, (as much as I'd like it to be) is NOT a a one-time deal! It's a day by day, month by month, year by year type of choice. (And some days, it could even be a hour by hour or minute by minute choice.) Every day that we wake up, you have a choice to make, I have a choice to make. In the midst of all this, the cool thing that I have learned over the years is that each time that I choose to step up and step out in faith and trust, is that God is FAITHFUL to meet me there!! And as I live each day with Him, we develop a history and a relationship together! This is absolutely crucial because when I find myself in one of those painful, gut-wrenching, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND" moments, it is because of our history together and His track record of faithfulness, that I am able to stand, trust and proclaim my sacrifice of praise. Because sometimes that's all you've got. And I'm learning that that's ok. (More on that later.) And then, there are those times where He just blows your mind with blessings upon blessings and you find yourself feeling so humbled and just in awe of everything that He has done and is doing. Both are equal parts of life, we can't have one without the other and we are equally beloved in both. Our identity doesn't change with our circumstances! NO. Instead it is in and rests upon the never changing character of our fully trustworthy God. (and if you know me, you know that's a BIG DEAL for me to able to say that! God is just so good, y'all...) 😃
       
          What about you? Do you, like me, find that you like your safe palace and all the answers while at the same time longing for the boldness, guts, & courage, that it would take for you to climb onto that magic carpet and go for a ride? If so, join me in answering these questions below:

• What does your "palace" look like? 
•   What are you still demanding answers/guarantees for that God is calling you to?
•   What would it look like for you to step out in trust and take that magic carpet ride? (It doesn't have to be anything big or extravagant, it might be something that looks incredibly simple, but you and the Lord both know what a big deal that choice/step of obedience would be. After all, I find that it's usually that first step that's one of the hardest for me to make.)
• Finally, is there a pocket of time this week that you could set aside to answer these questions? Break out the journal and a pen! Or grab a good friend to talk/pray through this with them and a good cup of coffee to drink while you do so! I promise that if you do, that it'll be time well spent. 
• And Finally, Finally...Don't be afraid to have a Disney sing-along together!! Belt it out, TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!! Off key, On key, doesn't matter, just do it! And have fun!

         

Chapter 5: The One Who Saw Me Dancing

Hello All! I'm currently telling the story of what the Lord has been doing in my life over the past 2 years, and each segment builds upon the previous ones, so if you haven't read the first part yet, I would recommend going back to my original post  and starting there! It'll make way more sense that way! 😊 Oh and thanks for stopping by and reading! 

Wow. now that we have made it to the first week of March 2018, I have finally made it to the beginning of 2016 in my story! Haha! I absolutely love this part of it though because this is where it all starts to come together! (At least for me!) This where everything that the Lord was doing and speaking into my life finally started coming together in an absolutely unexpected way! I got a boyfriend for my 29th birthday! Yeah, I was surprised too! What was even more surprising is the healing and freedom that came about because of that relationship! It was with a friend of mine from church (one that I never would have expected to be interested in, much less date, but God can be funny like that when He is working in our lives.) Even from the very beginning, I knew that it was the Lord who had brought us together because it was the very first time in my life that I found myself in a relationship where I hadn't manipulated or schemed or tried to control anything or anyone to try to get it to happen, it just did. (For all the other control freaks/recovering control freaks out there, you'll understand what I mean there... 😉 ) So how did it happen?
        Well it all started (for me at least), when he gave me a poem that he had written for me. In it he talked about he could see my heart for Lord in the way that I danced as I worshiped Him, but that he could also see how I didn't see my true worth and beauty that I had in Christ because of the lies that I was believing about myself.  WOW.  I was completely blown away and incredibly touched!! I'd never had anyone (especially a guy) write a poem that wasn't just FOR me, but was also so incredibly insightful and complimentary ABOUT me.
         And now looking back, I can see how that poem set the tone for our whole entire dating relationship (even though I didn't realize it at the time.) From the very beginning, Z was constantly pouring words of affirmation and scripture over me, whether it was through text or in person. I was like a dried out old sponge in the middle of the desert and he came along like a rain that I didn't know that I needed. And just like that sponge, I kept soaking and soaking up every last little drop. I couldn't get enough. Furthermore, Z could read me like a book! I couldn't get away with hiding anything from him. There was no "I'm fine." and him letting it go. He wouldn't let me sweep my stuff (no matter how minimal) under the rug and say it was nothing. He would make me deal with it, but it was always in the most kind, patient, and loving way possible. For the first time in a very long time, I was finally beginning to understand what it looked like to be cherished and cared for in the context of a romantic relationship. Z became a safe place for me to be able to express my fears, worries, insecurities, etc.
          In fact, one of my favorite memories from us dating was when we were in my kitchen working on something when all of a sudden, I was struck by  all these overwhelming thoughts and fears of "What if I can't do this?" "What if I'm just not any good at relationships??" What if I fail?" "What if I who I am is not enough for Z or for this relationship?" I just started freaking out in the middle of my kitchen spewing all these thoughts and fears out onto him. He grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me in the eye and asked, "But who does God say you are? What does He see when He looks at you? Not, what do you think about yourself, but what does God say about you?" Then Z started quoting the line from "Good Good Father"  that says, "I am loved by you and that's who I am. " Then he made me stand there in the middle of the kitchen and declare the truth of who I was in Christ over myself and I just lost it!! I fell into his arms and started bawling! Y'all it wasn't pretty tears, either. It was most definitely the ugly cry and Z just stood there and held me in his embrace. It was one of the most beautifully sacred and healing moments that I have ever had. (It was also especially meaningful because of my past history with the Lord and that song at the most recent Quiet Waters. )
      What a GIFT to be able to share the real me and be held, comforted, and cared for in the midst of all my mess. And yet, that is what the Lord longs to do with us each day - after all that's what this whole story is about - Jesus's pursuit of us, His LOVE for us, His desire for each of us to come to Him in the midst of the mess, mayhem, and monotony of  our everyday life. He longs for us to come to Him to be held. The question is, will we have the courage and the boldness to go to Him to be held,  even when what He's doing in our lives seems to be the opposite of how we thought the story would go? What about instead of the happily ever after, we find ourselves angry, confused and feeling like the rug has been pulled out from under us? What then?

I encourage you to ponder those questions for yourself and your own life, and then if you're curious to see how I dealt with them, come back for Chapter 6 and the next part of the story!
           

Chapter 4: Learning More of Who I Am in Him

Hello All! I'm currently telling the story of what the Lord has been doing in my life over the past 2 years, and each segment builds upon the previous ones, so if you haven't read the first part yet, I would recommend going back to my original post  and starting there! It'll make way more sense that way! 😊 Oh and thanks for stopping by and reading! To God be the Glory! 

Last time we left off, we were at Quiet Waters in April 2015 and the Lord had just spoken to me about how He wanted me to move up towards the front of the room instead of staying in the back and dancing. As we fast forward six months to the next Quiet Waters in November of 2015, we will see how He continued to keep speaking to me and building upon these same themes that we've seen so far in the past few blog posts. 
        Coming back to Quiet Waters in November after having that conversation with the Lord about me moving up to the front of the room was really neat in several ways. First of all, it was cool to be able to see the progress/growth that happened in my life over the past six months. I was also able to note the ways in which I could experience a new level of freedom in my worship and relationship with Christ. I was no longer moving to the front with great reluctance and trepidation, but rather with a sense of expectancy and joy to be able to see how the Lord was going to meet with me and speak to me in those moments! And WOW, did He ever!!!! I don't remember exactly which session it was that this happened, but I'm pretty sure that it wasn't until either late morning or last evening session on Friday, but I DO know exactly what song they were playing and where I was standing! 😉    
          However, before we get there, allow me to share another little bit of back story about myself that isn't commonly known.  For several years previously, every time that I would be worshiping (especially dancing), I would get this picture/vision in my head of this amazingly talented & graceful ballerina as she would dance this beautifully choreographed dance across my mind. She would always equally stun and frustrate me because the dance she was doing was amazing and I always thought, "if only there was way for me to translate this to someone who actually knew how to dance, so that they could bring this masterpiece to life!"  But alas, I have no actual ballet training and never was sure how to explain her to anyone, so she just hung out in my head with me while I danced. 😉
           Going back to Quiet Waters, I was up near the front, doing my normal thing, singing and dancing and the band starts playing the song "Good Good Father". I was already excited because I love that song, but then we get to the middle of it when God broke into my subconsciousness to speak these words over me! He was saying, "Julia, do you hear yourself? Yes, I am a good, good father, but that next line- that's YOU! That is what you need to be able to embrace if you are ever going to be secure in who you are as a person. You've got to know that deep down, NOT only am I a good, good father, but that you are loved by me and that's who YOU ARE!!" Wow. Mind. Blown. And yet, while I'm still trying to wrap my mind around revelation of grace from Him, He continues on, "Oh, and that beautifully graceful dancer in your head that you keep seeing?? That's you. 😘 She is you. That is how I see you when you dance for me. Those steps that she is dancing, those are the ones that I am giving to you for you to dance for me." And with those words resonating and taking up root in me, I began to be able to twirl and dance and sing with a FREEDOM that I never had had before! No longer was the beautiful dancer inside of me, but she was ME! WOW...talk about giving above and beyond anything we could ask or imagine! (Eph 3:20-21) Thank you Lord! I was absolutely just blown away by those 2 revelations and I hope that you are too! Because those words of love that He spoke over me? They are just as true for you too! He speaks them over each one of us as long as we take the time and space to let it happen. 😊YOU ARE LOVED BY HIM and THAT'S WHO YOU ARE...Believe it, Declare it, Receive it, Dwell on it!!! Let it soak into every single one of your pores!!! Your Father in Heaven loves you!! He is FOR you! And He is WITH you! Every single day, every single moment! You are BELOVED. Thank you Jesus!!

Saturday. The day between Friday & Sunday

Saturday.
 The day of confusion.
The day of discouragement and lost hope.
 The day of grappling with the question of "What just happened??
How could He have failed?
How on Earth did we end up here??
Sit here. Wrestle with it.
And be changed in your belief that nothing is happening.
 Is it really??
Or is it perhaps that the growth, the change you've been looking for, waiting for, & praying for is really all happening out of sight, underneath the surface just like a seed or a flower bulb that has sprouted underground, but has not yet made its way to the surface?
I know that we love to say, "It's Friday, but Sunday is coming!" But what about Saturday?? What about when you don't know that Sunday is coming?? Has anyone else ever felt like that their life is stuck in a holding pattern of Saturdays? If so, read on for some thoughts that I wrote a few Easters ago and still tend to ponder every year at this time.

"It's funny how your perspective changes when you are remembering and anticipating celebrating something that has already happened, versus living in it. For us, the day between Good Friday and Easter is a day of anticipation, of looking forward to joining together with our fellow believers to rejoice in the fact that our Savior is risen, and has indeed defeated death. HALLELUJAH!!!

However for the disciples, this day was not a joyful day, but one filled with grief, anguish, and the thousand other emotions that fill you up (and at times seem to crash over you & overwhelm you like ocean waves) when you've lost someone dear to your heart. It seems like the end...and yet surely it can't be. He said He was the Christ, the Messiah, the one we had been waiting for, but now He's just gone...it wasn't supposed to happen this way! Denial comes along with forgetting, if just for only a moment, before a fresh new wave of remembrance and grief smacks you upside the head again. On and on the cycle goes, you don't want to remember, but at the same time, you can't seem to forget either. And what about the chief priests and authorities? Are they coming after us next?? Was Jesus's death enough to satisfy them or will they turn to us next? If they do leave us alone, what do we do next? We've been traveling with Jesus for 3 years, what do we do now? Just go home? Do we even have homes anymore?

-- This we so often forget, that while we are getting ready to celebrate, they were just left wondering and confused. They did NOT know that Sunday was coming. So today, take a few mins to think about what it would have been like back then without the hope and knowledge we have today and let that infuse your celebration tomorrow!! For the more we feel the disciples' pain today, how much more so will we feel the JOY in declaring, "He is Risen, He is Risen, indeed!"

Chapter 3: Letting Loose the Ballet Dancer Inside of Me

Hello All! I'm currently telling the story of what the Lord has been doing in my life over the past 2 years, and each segment builds upon the previous ones, so if you haven't read the first part yet, I would recommend going back to my original post  and starting there! It'll make way more sense that way! 😊 Oh and thanks for stopping by and reading! 

       So we've finally made it to Quiet Waters in April of 2015! One of the first things that happened while I was there was that during the music, the Lord gave me a specific message for a really good friend of mine that really helped to once again confirm that I could and was indeed hearing Him speak to me with messages that He had for those around me. Second of all, because of my love for almost all things classic Disney, this same friend dubbed me his "fairy godmother," a role that I cherish and still take quite seriously to this day. As much as I do love that story, however, it's not the one that I want to focus on today. The main story that I want to start to share is the story of me meeting the love  and person of Jesus through my dancing before Him and with Him in worship. 

       Dance. Dancing. A Dancer. These words have become so dear and so thematic of the past 2 years of my life (and they continue to be in my current life as well.) It's not only the physical act of dancing or of being a dancer, but of  how the Lord  is using that as metaphor for my whole life in how He wants to lead and guide me. (But now I'm getting ahead of myself...) Anyway, as in most things in life, in order to move forward, we must look back as well. As a self-proclaimed history dork, I believe that to truly appreciate the current story, that it is crucial to know the history behind it, which is why we must travel even farther back to my high school/college years for just a minute.

         I've also always been a pretty physically expressive person, so it should come as no surprise that I have come to love dancing to worship music. I wasn't always like that though. It originally started as a way for me to be able to connect with the Lord in the privacy of my own room with no one else around. There was just something about certain songs that moved me to want dance out what the music was bringing out in me. I would also dance at church, but it was usually just hopping up and down in place to the beat of a song. As I started to feel more secure and at home in my church environment, I would go to the back of the room in order to be able move about a little more freely. I know that I commented to more than one person that if I could see myself, I would probably be too mortified to ever dance again....(haha coordination has never been a strong suit of mine...) 

      Coming back to 2015 and Quiet Waters, I've got my place dancing in the back of the room when I feel the Lord impressing me to go up towards the front. Not the front front, but the front off to the left side of the rows of chairs. (He basically just wanted me to move forward from the space where I was.) I immediately, of course, started arguing with Him, informing Him of all the reasons that why that was not a good idea. "Lord," I said, "I can't go up there, I might distract someone. You know that's why I always dance in the back, so as not to distract others from their pursuit of meeting with you." (Isn't it ridiculous how good that we can get at spiritualizing our reasons for disobedience sometimes?) I imagine that He made one of those snort laughs that tends to come out when we think someone is just being utterly ridiculous, and again He said, "I want you to go to the front..." Even though it took everything in me, I began to slowly move forward...bit by bit by bit....but it seemed like the closer that I got to the front, the more stilted, bound up, and awkward that I felt...People could actually see me now without having to look behind them! I said, "Lord, are you sure about this?? No one else is up here and I really don't want to be distracting anyone who's trying to focus on You.." And you know what He said?? "Julia, this has nothing to do with you not wanting to distract people and everything to do with the fact that you don't feel worthy enough to be up here. You don't dance in the back because you're humble, you dance in the back because that's where you feel that you belong." 

      Y'all I couldn't believe it!! My mind was blown again! He was once again revealing another layer to me of this stronghold that I found myself in that I didn't even know was there!!! It was like peeling back the layers of an onion, one layer at a time. If there is anything at all that I have learned about the Lord's heart towards us through all of this, it is this...He is so gracious to us and so patient in the way that He deals with us and all our stuff!! He knows it all already, but He also knows how much or little we can handle and He deals with us accordingly. He's not looking for an immediate "fix" but rather, He is willing to walk with us THROUGH it, because He is IMMANUEL, God WITH Us. Amen and Hallelujah! I do so hope and pray that you'll allow Him to walk with YOU through whatever you may be going through or dealing with right now! He's not done speaking to you yet! And He wasn't done with me either! There's more to come in chapter 4! Stay tuned to hear how He helped me to break though those lies of unworthiness to be able to dance freely for Him no matter where I am!! 😄