Chapter 2: The Blue Candle

Hello All! I'm currently telling the story of what the Lord has been doing in my life over the past 2 years, and each segment builds upon the previous ones, so if you haven't read the first part yet, I would recommend going back to my original post and starting there! It'll make way more sense that way! 😊 Oh and thanks for stopping by and reading! 

Chapter 2

              A month or so later (while I'm still wrestling through all that the Lord had spoken to me about already) one of the pastors at my church approached me about being on a prayer team for an event at our church that we have twice a year. I hesitated, not really feeling super confident in my abilities to be a prayer team member, and so he just asked me to think and pray about it, and to get back to him in a week or two. A few days later I was at Chick-fil-a with a couple friends from work, enjoying our delectable chicken nuggets as well as each others' company. As we were finishing up, we decided to take the time to not only share prayer requests, but to pray with and for another as well. As Heather began to pray for Emily, I began to get this picture in my head, which seemed to have nothing to do with what she was praying about, but the more she prayed, the more vivid the picture became. Even after she was done, I couldn't shake the image out of my head! So I took a big breath of courage and stepped out into the unknown... I said, "So I got this image in my head and I am not really sure what it means at all, but hopefully it'll mean something to you". I then began to describe the vision to her and to do my best to pray into it. When I was done praying, I looked up to see that Emily was just absolutely bawling her eyes out, complete with mascara and eye liner stains all down her cheeks!! She just looked at me and kept repeating over and over, "You have no idea...you just have no idea! You really have no idea..." No explanation, just the phrase "You have no idea...you really have no idea..." And you know what? I didn't need to know! Whatever it meant, that was obviously between her and the Lord and it was clear to both of us that I was just the messenger. However, it was also very clear what the Lord was wanting to speak to me about! It was this moment of  confidence building, of realizing,"Oh wait...I can do this after all! I DO hear from the Lord and He DOES speak through me to others!" So the very next day I called up the pastor and told him that yes I would like to be placed on a prayer team after all...which leads to chapter 3 and how the Lord began to slowly dismantle this prison that I had unintentionally found myself in in chapter 1... 

Learning to Dance...The Past Two Years in Retrospect - Chapter 1

Wow. My heart is almost full to bursting over all that I have to share with you today, for this blog post has been a long time coming! This is the story that I would eagerly share with you in person, but for some reason when it comes to actually writing it down and publishing it here, it gets pushed to the back burner as procrastination, distractions, and excuses take first place instead. This is the story that the enemy does NOT want me to write- for this is the story of my past two years, the story of a loving God who has been relentlessly pursuing me, wooing me, teaching me of His love, and calling me out onto the dance floor of life with Him. Or as my very wise and awesome best friend once wrote to me in the midst of everything,  "But you are entering the true story of grace- where you want to ask God for "steps 1,2,3...." and He says, "Once upon a time..."

Chapter One - The Compliment

             This all began a couple years ago with a simple compliment from a friend. We were sitting on the couch at my apt with my roommate hanging out and talking when he turned to me and gave me possibly one of the greatest compliments that I have ever been given. Ironically, I can't remember exactly what it was he said, but it was something to the effect of "You are an amazing, godly woman, and don't ever feel like you need to change who you are, because you give us guys something to strive for." I sat there stunned, not even sure how to react. I even remember looking over at my roommate as if she would know how to respond for me...Anyway, I'm sure that I muttered out something and the conversation moved on...but the growing unease that it caused in me did not. In fact, it seemed to be growing steadily instead, until one morning on the way to work, I started talking to the Lord about it. I said, "Lord, I know that I am usually not super great with accepting compliments, but what is it about this one? Why after several days, do I still not know how to handle it?" It was then that the Lord revealed to me that what I THOUGHT was humility was actually a type of false humility. I wasn't thinking of myself less (humility), I was being self-deprecating and thinking less of myself  and had actually become entangled in this huge stronghold of lies about myself that I didn't even realize were there! I was absolutely blown away and befuddled by how sly and subtle the enemy had been in building that stronghold brick-by-brick and here I was completely oblivious! Well, I was NOT oblivious anymore, Thank the Lord! (literally) However, where was I supposed to go from here? How was I supposed to be able to break free from this stronghold of lies about my identity and self-worth that I found myself in? That's where Chapter 2 comes in... 😉

Ducks & Sponges

        Where are you in life right now? Are you currently being a duck or a sponge? Not sure? Just really confused in general? Haha, well then let me explain. Being a duck or a sponge is a picture that the Lord gave me last year to help illustrate a very important point that He wanted to teach me. The explanation is this- in every situation and relationship that we have in our life we are going to be either a duck or sponge. And depending on the situation/relationship each one could be either good or bad. It's all about what we soak in (like a sponge) and what we let roll off our backs. (Like water off a duck's feathers.) There are times that we need to a sponge soaking it all up, absorbing every last drop, and there are times that we just need to let it roll off and move on with our lives! However, I felt the Lord saying,"The problem here is that you tend to be a duck when you should be a sponge and sponge when you should be a duck." WOW. I wanted to stand up and deny it, but as I tried to come up with a defense and I thought through my life, I realized that He was right...How many times had I absorbed up criticism from others or the lies from the enemy instead of just letting it roll off and moving on? Then, when the Lord would send along someone to speak words of affirmation and/or love over me and my life, I would just brush it off or deflect it...Wow, what a moment of breakthrough and revelation that was for me to have that word picture sitting right there in my mind! And so now, whatever situation that I am in, I can immediately go to that picture and think, "Do I need to be a sponge or a duck right now?" It's been awesome in helping me to realize what needs to absorbed and what needs to just be deflected.  Now, do I get it right all the time? Heck, no!! And yet, it has still been extremely helpful for me to apply to my life.

How about you? How does visualizing yourself as a duck or a sponge help you process things and work through different situations in your life? Feel free to share below if you'd like!

Finally, Lord help us to remember to ALWAYS be sponges when it comes to You and the many ways that You speak to us! We want to hear from You, for you are the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Your words bring life and healing to our souls. You are our Good Shepherd! Help us to come to know you more and more each day, to be filled up with You, so that we may be poured/squeezed out for You. It's in Your Son's Name that we pray, Amen.

The Clearance Table Bride...

         I think that it's so interesting to see the different ways that God speaks to us as we go throughout our day. I had one such instance happen to me Monday night at work. I was standing by the clearance table talking to a co-worker and I looked down and saw this cute little bride sitting there on the table.

          I don't know what it was that made me pick her up, but something did. Whether I realized it at the time or not, there was an unconscious curiosity going on there, a question that was being asked in my mind...Why is she here? What is it about her that got her put on the clearance table? As you can see from above, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with her...There's no marks or blemishes on her, she has her arms, she's not cracked or broken...So why?? I turned her over to see the price tag  be...and sure enough there it was- with this handwritten message on it...

          As soon as I read it, I just started cracking up laughing...Why?? Well the thought that immediately raced into my head was, "Wow...I don't think that you could more perfectly describe my life in my mid to late 20's as a single adult in the church better than this. Perfect description, right here." And to find it the day before Valentine's Day?? Well that was just the icing on top of the cake! I figured that this one was just too funny not to share, so I decided to take a couple pictures of the little bride and her sticker to share on FB, something with a cute little funny caption like "Can I get an Amen from all the single ladies out there?" But then as I thought about it some more, the Lord really impressed a few things upon my heart about that dear little bride and her clearance table sticker...and I knew I had my next blog post topic. 😃

        

Consequently here we are! And those thoughts that the Lord placed on my heart? Well I am so glad that you asked me! I am hoping and praying that they challenge and encourage each one of you in the same way that they did me! The first thought that I had was thankfulness. A soul deep thankfulness that the Lord has actually brought me to a place in my life where I can see something like that, and it makes me laugh. Believe me, that was NOT and has NOT always been the case at all. It is progress for sure! But then, on the heels of that was the more somber thought of the fact that for so many women (especially those in the church today) that this is their reality, our reality. How many of us wrestle with feeling like we are on the clearance table of life? Some days we are great, but then others?? We too feel like we could be carrying around a sticker on us that shouts, "NO GROOM. AS IS. 50% OFF"  

And I HATE that!!! For EVERY woman out there who has ever felt that way, I want to let you know that that is a LIE from our enemy the father of lies! That is NOT what your Heavenly Father thinks about you at all!!! God absolutely DELIGHTS in EACH one of us!!! It brings Him such JOY to be able to spend time with us! That is why Jesus told Martha that Mary had chosen the better thing...Not because anything that Martha was doing was wrong, but rather Jesus was saying, "Hey, there's time for that later...but for now, while I am here.. let's hang out. Come, relax and spend time with me...That's all that I really want from you..Just the gift of your presence." So Beloved sisters, the next time that we feel our emotions running away with us, let's make an intentional effort to take those emotions and hormones and bring them before His Throne. Praise Him!! Seek out His Truth! Ask Him to speak to you and and to show you how much He delights in you! I guarantee that He will meet you THERE! I know this not only from experience, but also because He promises it in His word as well! In Jeremiah 29:13-14, He says," You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity." So this is my prayer that I leave with you today. Seek the Lord, allow Him to come and meet with you. Know that your IDENTITY is rooted in the fact that YOU are LOVED by Him and allow THAT TRUTH to tell you who you are!! Believe me, I know that it can be hard to open ourselves up and be vulnerable, but it is more than ok to trust your heart to Him. There is ABSOLUTELY NO ONE who will handle it better or cherish it more. He is truly the Lover of our Soul.  Love you ladies and Happy Belated Valentine's Day!! 😃💘💖😍

Early Morning Sunrise Thoughts

 Just a quick thought from earlier last year-

        So back in August, we were on our annual family beach trip when all of sudden I realized that I had never seen a sunrise on the beach!!! Plenty of sunsets, NEVER a sunrise! Immediately deciding that I needed to change that fact, I set my alarm for 6:22 am and the next morning groggily rolled out of bed to see the sunrise. It turns out watching the sunrise on the beach can be a little addicting, even if you're not a morning person...(I know...I was shocked too!) Thursday was the 3rd day that I had made it out to watch the sunrise, and as I came out that morning, I noticed for the first time how bright the moon in the Western sky was as it was going down. Now it had already occurred to me before that the Sun and the Moon had an interesting relationship to each other, similar to the one thst we as believers have to Christ, but this morning it took on a whole new dimension/meaning!
       The obvious analogy here is that just as the moon reflects the sun's power and can do nothing without it, we can do nothing without Christ. However the thought that came to my mind was the verse in the Bible about how weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. Then, as I turned around, I noticed that just as quickly as the sun had come up, the moon had disappeared. Now, of course, the moon was still there (in the sky) but you couldn't see it because the light of the sun was so bright! All this made me think of how in the same way we should be shining brightly for Christ during these dark times just like the moon shines bright in the night sky!
     However, on that day when Jesus does come again it'll be the dawn of a New day, the Glorious Sun of a new age and nobody will be looking at us because they will all be looking at Christ in his glory and falling to their knees in worship of Him. What about you? How has the Lord used the glory and imagery of his creation in nature to speak to you? Let me know in the comments below! 🙂

Babeling Redemption

       So I recently finished reading the book "Simply Jesus"  by N.T. Wright and it was absolutely fascinating. In it, one of the things that he talks about is that part of Jesus' mission in coming to earth as a human was to announce that kingdom of God was at hand and with that comes redemption of the world and things being made right. Now granted things won't be made completely right until Jesus' second coming, but you can still see God's works of redemption happening in the world. It's been really neat to be reading this book while at the same time reading through the 4 Gospels during my devotional time over the past few weeks because Wright really helps you get a new perspective on who Jesus was when He was here on earth and why He said and did what He did. So all of this has been fresh on my mind and while I was at small group a couple weeks ago, I had an interesting revelation/thought.
       We were talking about the disciples and how they were transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit falling on them at Pentecost and how it caused them to speak in tongues so that everyone in the crowd heard the message of the Gospel in their own native tongue. Then out of nowhere came the thought, "This is the redemption of the fallout from the Tower of Babel." At first, I was sitting there thinking "huh?" and then it was like all the pieces clicked into place. In Genesis 11:1-9, it says,

 "Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. ² As people moved eastward^, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there.³ They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. ⁴ Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”⁵ But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. ⁶ The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. ⁷ Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”⁸ So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. ⁹ That is why it was called Babel—because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth."

        So originally everyone spoke the same language, but because they were using it to try and bring glory to themselves instead of God, He confused their languages and scattered them. However if you have read through the Bible you can see that not only is it an on-going story of redemption of the human race, but you can see that God can take even the worst circumstances and redeem them for his glory. In Acts 2:4-11 it says,

^"4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. ⁵ Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. ⁶ When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. ⁷ Utterly amazed, they asked: “Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? ⁸ Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? ⁹ Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, ¹⁰ Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome ¹¹ (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” "

      The thing that struck me so beautifully about all of this is the sovereignty of God in all of this. In verse 5 above, it says that "there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven." So when the disciples start speaking in tongues through the Spirit, the Lord is using that event to redeem all the different languages (that were once used to confuse and defeat) in order to make sure that the story of Jesus (which is one of hope and salvation) is taken all over the world by way more people and places than the
apostles could ever hope to reach by themselves in their lifetimes. How cool is that?!? Our God is indeed a God of redemption!

Obedience and the Wilderness

         So earlier this year, the Lord really used a blog post of mine from last year to challenge and encourage me, as well as to continue building on a particular theme/Biblical analogy that He has been using in my life on and off for the past year. There was one part in particular on this post that He really challenged me with as I was struggling with trusting in Him and His guidance and provision in a certain area of my life and it said " I want to make sure that I am one of the Joshua's and Caleb's of the world, not one of the other 10 who caused the Israelites to doubt, disobey, and end up wandering the desert for 40 years." (don't you just love it when the Lord uses your own words back at you to speak to you about something?? haha. It is definitely humbling and probably more effective than anyone else's words.) This quote made even more of an impact on me because of a book that I am reading right now called One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer. In it she talks about how out of approximately two million Israelites, only two - Joshua and Caleb - made it to the Promised Land. She uses the story of the Israelites' deliverance from Egypt and their journey to the Promised Land to illustrate the seasons/ways that God moves in our lives as well.
     So I know in church, when we are usually talking about the Israelites, we talk about how they had to wander the wilderness for 40 years and how they never got to make it to the Promised Land because of their disbelief. We also talk about how we want to be a 'Joshua' or 'Caleb' and be willing to believe in God's promises to come true. Yet, the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized that I didn't think that I had ever heard anyone talking about how even though Joshua and Caleb did the right thing by believing in God, they were still stuck wandering in the wilderness for 40 years with the rest of the people who didn't believe!!! Let that sink in....40 years of wilderness wandering with everyone else even though they made the right choice to be obedient and to trust in God. So this got me to thinking that just because we are doing our best to be obedient to and listen to God doesn't mean that we won't spend time in the wilderness...The wilderness is not just a punishment for those who were disobedient and unbelieving, but it's also about preparation and strengthening of character for those who are obedient and believing. It is just like Beth Moore was saying in the video last week at Bible study, God's got an amazing calling and inheritance for us, but it is something that we are going to have to fight for!! After all, it will not only be worth more to us because we had to fight for it, but God knows that it is the spiritual muscle that is gained through that fight that will enable us to be successful in the fight to keep our inheritance.